Tiny Tearaways And Tiddly Tantrums – 10 Tips To Calm Your Day

Tantrums can be a normal part of child development.  They may be difficult to handle, but can be a sign that your child is developing their own sense of self.  Here are ten tips to minimize tantrums and help your child gain self-control and emotional intelligence.

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1.  Give expectations

Your child needs to know what is expected of them.   Before an activity, tell or show your child what behaviour you expect.  They will then know what is acceptable and what is not.

2. Reward good behaviour

Although there is a lot of discussion about rewarding good behaviour with physical rewards versus children innately wanting to do the right thing, many parents swear by the use of sticker or reward charts to support good behaviour development.  Young children can understand what it means to work towards a reward.  Rewards can be anything from time spent with you and letting them choose the activity you do as a family.

3. Give your child choices between what is acceptable to you

To create a leader, your child has to learn to make choices.  If your child has to get dressed or if they are going to eat from a plate, let them choose what they want.   This gives them a sense of power and keeps tantrums at bay.  They are getting dressed and eating, but they have the choice that will improve self-esteem and empower them. 

4.  Let your child lead

Let your child lead or choose an activity you will do as family.  The opportunity to take lead will give them a sense of power, and will often cut down the chance of a tantrum.

5.  Get your child to show you

Children with early or limited communication skill and vocabulary may need to demonstrate their needs by touching, picking up or taking you to what they want.  To stop a tantrum escalating, let your child demonstrate what they need to help them feel understood.    

6.  Check Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Children who are thirsty, tired or hungry may not be able to listen to reason until their basic needs are taken care of.  Once these basic needs have been met you child will be more likely to be distracted or listen to reason.

7.  Distract

Out of sight and out of mind.  Try to get your child to focus on something other than what they may have a tantrum about.  Have a comforter, activities or toys to hand to give to your child during potential uprisings.  Try sound.  Use instruments like a triangle, tambourine or a kazoo to get your child to focus on something else.  Use the environment.  Show them birds, planes or trains.  Get their mind off the issue at hand.

8. Be as cool as a cucumber

Tantrums can be loud.  It is the parent’s job to deescalate the situation. Matching their shouting with your shouting will merely intensify the level of sound to jet engine levels.  Reduce your voice pitch, tone or alter your voice. Your unusual behaviour may distract your child long enough for the tantrum to abate by itself.  

9. Ignore the tantrum.  

Rewarding a tantrum with attention may be just what your toddler is looking for.  It may be time to reward good behaviour and ignore the tantrum.  First, check that your child is not harming themselves. Explain what you need from them and do not make eye contact or give attention to the to the tantrum.  When they have calmed down from a tantrum, get down to their level and let them know there are alternative ways to deal with the issue.

10. Offer love

Asking your child if they want a hug during or near the end of a tantrum can be the stimulus for a child to finish their tantrum and regain control. After a tantrum, let them know you love them no matter what they did.  Let them know that you do not love the behaviour, but you still love them.

An easy way to help your child settle into a routine and to socialise is to enrol them in nursery school.  Allowing your child social interaction during the tantrum stage will give them an opportunity to tackle everyday situations – big and small.  Falcon British Nursery can help your child develop effective ways to communicate in a safe, nurturing and stimulating environment in a home away from home.